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(no subject) [Jan. 24th, 2005|09:24 am]

I didn’t see you standing by the wall
Your silky-haired shadow gently flowing
Not quite unheard you gently call:
Come to dreams gentle growing
But I am lost out in the crowd
And if I let my shadow linger
Its to ride the long notes of your song
And find beauty in its singer
You know these darkened paths are long
The lamp-post’s gleaming lights long gone
And the ringing notes that gently fall
Are all that remains of the call
The memory stands fast with me
If my eyes can no longer see
Your fine dreams gentle growing
Heartbreak has it’s final cost
The scarred flesh torn and showing
The paths are strewn with those still lost
The ignorant and knowing
Your melody is calling me
While I’m still blindly running
Until I can find the harmony
Your way I can’t come running
You know these darkened paths are long
The lamp-post’s gleaming lights long gone
And the ringing notes that gently fall
Are all that remains of the call
The memory stands fast with me
If my eyes can no longer see
Your fine dreams gentle growing
Something still within me burns
To turn around and follow
If reason tells me not to yearn
But continue on in sorrow
Or see you standing by the wall
Your silky-haired shadow flowing
Can you show me how to find
Those find dreams gently growing?
You know these darkened paths are long
The lamp-post’s gleaming lights long gone
And the ringing notes that gently fall
Are all that remains of the call
The memory stands fast with me
If my eyes can no longer see
Your fine dreams gentle growing
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(no subject) [Jan. 22nd, 2005|08:07 pm]

" The end of this town is coming soon, and only the few and far between will survive "

I'm just an ever fading memory. A blur in reality. Forever a ghost to you arms. fading inbetween realities. Forever non-exsistant. What an amazing trick. Oh! transparent queen. I should of seen through your actions, but I'm blind to even the sweetest of things. This letter should tell you of my enclosion. Edit my voice through stereo static. I wish not to be heard anymore. A decrescendo if you will. A robot decoupage has become decrepit. An irrational number in this sea of human beings. How ironic, something so powerful becoming so obsolete. But with one final on-slaught. The water has become contaminated. No one is left standing.
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Forget [Jan. 22nd, 2005|01:13 am]

[music |Holland-The Whole World]

Forget these stairs beyond you
And face these clowns that torture you
Keep mocking you
Forget all you previous intentions
And give your ear to what the wind will mention
Fly away beyond stones of anger
Slip between the walls that separate
Friend from stranger
Speed on to the door beyond
And take nothing that can’t run along
You need all your strength for this
And live again no longer in remiss
Such as me
Such as we must be careful of what we see
Never forgetting what we have to be
Our castle walls we build alone
Stone by stone
Always and forever will never be
Walk along the twilight shore
You’ll find there a lighted wooden door
The markings on the wood it seems are there to calculate the screams
Of those walking through who want something more
For they never come back again
were does their one way trip decide to end
you’ll see them in your dreams
they laugh and cry just like us
but it’s just a dream
who should we trust
maybe not ourselves but trust one we must
we never seem to find the one
who trusts us to
so now what
what do we do?
No longer can we live our lives
With eyes wide shut
And truth filled lies
Who do you dream of
When the nights just begun
Do you search for true love
Or just one nights fun
Do you see me standing in the corner of your eye
Im every tear
That falls when you cry
I never thought you could deny my fall
But when I look up you’re not there at all
I search blindly
Not just for you but for me
And when finally
I find you you do nothing but lie to me
You can’t feel me
You can’t see me
You’re chained down in your hell
You don’t remember me eyes
Because if you looked into them you’d
Taste all your lies in your tears
Sanction me from my fears
Drink away all the years
Sleep away every problem
Ill probably die if ever I solve them
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(no subject) [Jan. 18th, 2005|06:52 pm]

"Theatre of the Absurd"

My thaumatology has gotten me no where. I've only fooled myself into thinking you were real. You theactricalize your love in thematic situations. Did you think that i would never find the thalidomide in my veins? I've made my mistakes, and my biggest one was where I believed in you. You are a just a theme song for destruction. I am a theoretician. There is no place for you in my heart or mind. You spineless, thievish coward. With these thoracotomies, I knew you try to take my heart (my passion). I saw those poems of grief. This is a full on attack. Are you frightened yet? Because you better be. I'll stand resolute on my beliefs that you are a fraud. This is my thesis.
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(no subject) [Jan. 3rd, 2005|04:39 pm]

[mood |happy]
[music |cursive - the recluse]

"the shame you must be feeling when you look at your past life"

Bask in the moonlight. You look for your reflection in the water, but all you see is my face smashed up against the windsheild. Our mouths bound together by strings. Behold our child of greed. His lungs protruding out like the wings of a dragonfly. His voice a whisper, and he only speaks in apologies. We'll stitch these chords into a bitter melody of disgust. Your words have become a poetic decay. Our hearts are wearing thin. You bleed those black tears. What are you crying for? Is it for the filth you have become? Understand the urgency of this. You took us off the road. This is your fault. This blanket of your own selfishness is the womb of our child lust. Her insides built on the outside. And when she speaks. Smoke signals. Create this storm by a wave of your hand. You always were a bride of destruction. The vessels breaking behind my face, Never felt...Never felt....So empty. Blood caught in my eyes from wiping away the tears. I stabbed my own wrists with the closest thing to me. Rejoice. For our child pride has found a new eating disorder. Caught in this fire you scream for help, but the flames swallow your throat. Didn't you know those cigarettes would come back to haunt you? Every bone in our bodies are broken. You lay looking at the ceiling. I lay looking at the floor. Death come quick. Death come sweet.
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The Beauty of Friendship [Dec. 19th, 2004|03:48 pm]

I always wanted to leave your life like a bad nightmare. Yet you chose to leave mine like a thief.You sold out my trust, my heart, my mind, my everything. But can you sell my soul for your own happiness? Oh,it seems you already have. Go ahead and seal the deal with a bonus. All buyers can watch as my cold hands shake for that bottle of pills you left behind.

It's so beautiful to watch me die.It's so beautiful to watch us die.

**Another lame poem from me.Enjoy.**
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(no subject) [Dec. 7th, 2004|07:49 am]

     Driving through the roads, trees bend to whisper secrets.  Sitting in the passengers seat is you; stretched all the way back with your eyelids resting on eachother with the softest impulse.  It seems that everyone's in love; or at least pretend to be.  But I'm gonna follow this path and let this clear sky lead me away from this stretch.  My acoustic land mine will detonate with one more shove.  Hold me on a string of my importunity; tie the other end to a beam of our delusion.  I am your persistent dream; I am your amiable twin soul.  Clench my purity and don't let go.

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(no subject) [Nov. 21st, 2004|12:43 am]

     How many wounds in our hearts will it take to show that we truly are sorry?  How many tears will flow from our eyes for every scream of our vocal chords that announces the pain you've caused?  Everything is gonna be so awful from now on.  We've all collided head on with one another and I'm sure no one cares.  I feel alone.  Am I alone?  Am I the only person who stands inbetween everything, waiting for it to stop?  Am I the only one who's head is about to explode because of this bitter drama that tears us apart?  To you, hate is a beautiful emotion.  Dance beautiful, you're so good at it.  Trample all over our emotions, all over our bonds.  Let's kill every memory we've ever loved.

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eh, nothing special. [Nov. 4th, 2004|11:55 am]
[mood |. . .]

Tell me pen, why do i allow myself to get like this? Can you simple pen, help me with my problems? You color me with happiness, you color me with blue, why cant you just scribble answers for me to use?
Stab me in the heart, three times for good luck will do. I need the stabs, you even said it yourslef i do (you need it) i do.
Back into mmy hands, ink onto white, I scribble hated things to you. I wrote down I hate you, and screamed it so you could hear, i chanted it to you, because you made me hate myself.
Time is flooding out, half purple moons form under my eyes. I must find a way for you my love, to read my letter and have it eat at your heart.
So just to let you know how important you are to me, I'll write your name on my sucide note, and hang it along side of me so the whole world can see. '
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(no subject) [Nov. 3rd, 2004|11:16 am]



Each kiss is laced with eternal love.
These rose tinted lips are what I've always dreamed of.

Gorgeous eyes speak what simple words could never tell

In the depths of these eyes is where I always fell.

Envelope my lifeless body with your protective arms.
Even though it is your unrequitted love that caused this deadly harm.

Watch my beauty fade as I turn your favorite shade of blue.Remeber though my sweet love,this was all for you.



I think I should add more to it..just seems unfinished.


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(no subject) [Oct. 12th, 2004|01:19 pm]


My writing sucks compared to all of you..but I'm gonna post it anyway bia.

As I sit I count the number of scars on my arm.17 times over and the pain still isn't gone.The slits on my throat create holes for me to breathe through.I can't help but blame all my problems on everything you do.Again the pills are forcefully swallowed like all the burdens in my life.My two deadliest weapons have become my mind and  my knife.Sometimes I ponder ways to make the misery end.And I think to myself-death has become escape's synonym.

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(no subject) [Oct. 10th, 2004|11:14 am]

     Plunge into the unknown.  You would never have guessed that this is for the worst.  You are the star that will light the universe.  You are the cliff that claimed so many lives.  Take a deep breath and fall into space.  Tomorrow, for all you know, this love will disappear.  I would've let the world drown.  I would've let the world die.  Mistaken emotion, the incognito will rest assured tonight that tomorrow, this love will disappear.  I would've let the world die.  Tomorrow will disappear.  Now I speak to you three words, and three words only.  But never forget that all it is is a lie.
     So our lives are out of focus.  And the clouds, the clouds stay out numbered.  I am dishonest.  I am the intention we never chose to speak.  Say what you want, the power is out and it won't matter come tomorrow morning.  Nothing matters when every breath is a paradox.  When every beat of a heart is cutting another thread.  This wears me out.  Say what you want, I won't mean anything come tomorrow.

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The Equation of Human Decomposition [Oct. 3rd, 2004|09:59 am]
innocent child- ripe and unknown
experiencing life
making mistakes
learning from them
growing up- normalcy
exposed to evil
exposed to hatred
exposed to pain
depression- the effect
floods of tears
ache with enmity
a masochist
the innocent child fading- a beast grows within
merry laughter turns to a psychiotic chuckle
animate eyes glossed with torment
the desire to love fights with the crave to hate
naive no more- all hell manifested
what has been created?
what has the corrupted world blindly done?
the ignorant babe now mutated
the adolescent- the victim
the pure no more- evil reigns
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Windows locked for crime [Sep. 27th, 2004|12:01 am]

[music |The Used- "Cut Up Angels"]

The soft rain,
Is swiftly over flown,
By the hard banging on against your window,
And are you sitting in your room,
Or is that you locked outside with the moon,
Do the clouds block out the stars,
Because your eyes are blurred with scars,
And is it possible to over cry,
When you've never spoke a word,
Have you ever heard the sirens scream,
When she sings away your life,
And would you follow her to hell and back,
If she promised to be your wife,
Deceit and lies fill your bed,
When you realise you cant fly,
And wisp me away on another dream,
Or take back to living,
Kill heart forever seen,
Before I come knocking,
And is the raining hard tonight,
When window's locked for crimes...
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(no subject) [Sep. 23rd, 2004|11:24 am]

[mood |why can't things just be real?]
[music |Keane-Your Eyes Open]

I sit and watch you ponder
All the things you make believe
In your words to be spoken
What is real, and who do you decieve
In my world you make so real
In this night of darkness
The light of touch and feel
I hear your voice in the calm
I see the shadow you make
But why can I not vision you
Are you real...
Or just another ripple
Across the lake?
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